well here goes nothing... so i figured i would give blogging a try,, i have a lot on my mind and i have been through more then enough hell to talk about it all.. well where do i start? thats so hard for me.. do i start with my childhood? or do i start with whats going on now and work backwards? so hard. the setting for now is that i am a mom of 4 amazing children.. 2 boys and 2 girls..my oldest will be 18 in dec.. he is zac,, my rock,, then we have keen she is 16... my teacher,,,, then hayli she is 14.. she is my patience thats for sure.. and then there is kodi.. he is 11.. my baby.. he is my laughter... them are my kids. i am SURE i will be talking about them a lot more... as for me.. well i just turned 36 yesterday.. happy birthday to me!!!! i am married to Scott.. have been for 11 years now... we have been together for 15 1/2 years... well on and off. well get in to that later on. we all live in a small shit hole town, no for real its a shit hole. there is nothing here, its kinda like your stuck in a woarm hole and it just sucks the life out of you, we have one grocery store and it pretty much sucks. the prices are so high its ridiculous, you go there to get something of dinner for a family of 6 and u and up spending like $80 easily no joke. we have to convent  stores,,, a few churches 2 bars, a private catholic school and then the reg k-12 school on the out side of town.. we do have 2 pharmacies one is a rite-aid then other is a mom and pop one.. which is nice to see still open now-a days . we have some other small shops here and there.. but nothing big. we did have 2 laundry mats but one closed and got turned in to a bagel shop.we have a town pool and an ice skating rink, baseball field, youth football field thats new this year, so its not that bad of a town i guess.. its a cute lil all American town kinda it just has no growth. all the factorys are closing and moving over seas so we are loosing work. and economic growth. but thats not what this blog is about. this blog is about my life and my mind,,,, i guess. so i guess i am done for now.. nothing else is coming to my mind,,, well i have a lot in my mind i want to get out i just don't know how to organize it all... i will try later,,, enjoy ur day..